In January I felt strongly that my word of the year was supposed to be “present” and I think that was right for that time period. However, my father passed away soon after my last blog post. Since then, I’ve been focusing even more on letting go or releasing and living each day. My family and I started grieving my father a little at a time in the years before his death. He was an active person who loved gardening and nature. Losing his ability to walk and physical independence was especially difficult and frustrating for him. Dementia stole most of his memories, knowledge and understanding. This was even more heartbreaking to witness. While grieving and dealing with anxiety that is heightened especially during our country’s and the world’s instability and multiple crises, I’ve turned more to dirt therapy at my community art center, reorganizing and artmaking. I’ve also been fortunate to meet more friendly, kind hearted fellow artists this summer.
As a kid, I was especially insecure but could always find myself in my art. Increasing studio time and prioritizing my creative practice during the last four years has helped me to not only paint what I notice and love but it is leading me to reflect and accept this season as well as find deeper meaning in my paintings. Creating art fills me back up and enables me to show up for the people in my life. My art is the beautiful part of me. It’s not all of who I am but it definitely represents who I want to be.
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12 x 16, Watercolor on Paper, 2024