Like many people, I’ve taken on the concept of selecting a word or phrase to help me focus and keep me motivated throughout the year. This year a trite phrase kept rising to the surface: Let it go. No, I’m not singing the song constantly in my head. Okay, so perhaps “release” could be my word of the year. I’m in my forties so I’m learning to balance letting go of certain expectations but also wanting to take action and move forward. This applies personally as well as professionally and creatively. First, we donated my 2014 Jeep. I had a slightly unusual attachment to this vehicle. For several decades my dad worked hard to support our family as a car salesman. It’s a stressful job and he cared about his repeat customers. Our family car was always a used one and that was fine, but I hoped that someday I’d be able to have a Jeep of my own. That day did come and I beamed with gratitude and pride as I drove my dark blue- green Jeep that I bought directly from my salesman dad. I know it was a moment of pride for him as well. When the day came that my husband and I saw it towed away for good, I admit I teared up a little. This was symbolic in so many ways. My dad is going through some health complications and he will not get any better. This may be a long and difficult goodbye. Little by little I’m learning how to let go. I’m at the stage in life where I need to accept that things are drastically changing but I also must still seek the joy, beauty and laughter that makes life worth living.
This is where nature and artmaking come in. It’s not unusual for me to crouch down next to an azalea bush or evergreen tree to observe and look for lovely small details. I don’t need any more photos of snowy trees, but I take them anyway. Stealing away for a walk and taking nature photos awakens my curiosity and taking the photos allows me to document that moment even if its just for myself. Yes, I notice these small little joys before they are gone. Nature’s seasons keep me grounded, inspire me and remind me that this is just how it is and to keep noticing the beauty of it all.
Towards the end of December I painted Fleeting, Yet Flourishing II. Sometimes I’ll paint a composition a second time because I want to experiment with different colors or I want to try an alternative solution. The first version of this painting, wonderfully sold to a collector but I liked the composition so much that I wanted my own to keep. The composition is based on a photo I took in December 2021 when our azalea bush’s leaves were still so colorful and I knew while painting the first version that it would be titled Fleeting, Yet Flourishing. It directly symbolized the changes I felt all around me as well as the ones within.
This year I’m choosing to release what I never controlled in the first place. I’m also rebounding into new possibilities and experiences. May you make time to acknowledge your own dreams and take the steps to realize them.
Fleeting, Yet Flourishing II
17 x 21, Watercolor on Paper, 2022